Get all 11 Tripod releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Spanish Influencer, How To Train An Attack Dog From Scratch, Perfectly Good Songs, Men of Substance, Tripod versus the Dragon, Songs from Self-Saucing, Middleborough Rd, Fegh Maha, and 3 more.
1. |
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Well it doesn't take a genius to realise
Being good at school can be cool
Put on your lab coats boffins rule!
There's nothing wrong with putting on your thinking cap
Though your social skills may be crap
You can impress with these cool facts
Oh science facts are useful
That's why they teach 'em to ya
Your teachers wouldn't screw ya
Don't be a fool
The science school is cool
Well you may not see a scientist do Rock and Roll
But they understand the mineral properties of rock
As well as the physics of roll
Oh science facts are useful
That's why they teach 'em to ya
Your teachers wouldn't screw ya
Don't be a fool
The science school is cool
Oh science facts are useful
Oh science facts are useful
Oh science facts are useful
Oh science facts are useful
Oh science facts are useful
That's why they teach 'em to ya
Your teachers wouldn't screw ya
Don't be a fool
The science school is cool
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2. |
Crowe's Lullaby
03:32
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My newborn Crowe
I'll watch you grow
Tell you what I know
My newborn Crowe
I'll treat you good
Do the things a big Crowe would
Falling short of spewing in your mouth
I'll treat you good
And when you're old enough
I'll throw you out of the tree
Metaphorically
So you can be like me
So you can
Fly
Away from me
Fly
Away from me
Fly
Oh sorry
I woke you up
Since you're awake
Eat this steak
Let's get you on solids as fast as we can
Stay ahead of the other man
And if the other guy's in your way
Treat him mercilessly
Hang him from a high tree
Unless the other guy's me
Then you'd better
Fly
Away from me
Fly
Away from me
Run and hide
Oh stop crying!
You're a Crowe
Let 'em know
That if you can't be a nice guy
Be the greatest actor in the world
Which you can't be
'Cause the greatest actor is me
You'd better watch your back son
You'd better turn round and run
And when you're thirteen
You're out of the house
You're gone I'm over ya
It's nothing personal son
It's just my triskaidekaphobia
Well then you'd better
Fly
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3. |
Saniglove
04:39
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Now here's the tale of a very sad case
He was a contestant in the rat race
But he just didn't understand the rules
What a fool!
He always called himself the Toilet Paper Man
But not surprisingly people didn't understand
'Cause he wasn't made of toilet paper
He just manufactured toilet paper
He'll never forget the day he blew it
Making that ad with Lleyton Hewitt
And he had what he thought was a good idea
Oh dear!
He always called himself the Toilet Paper Man
He thought that maybe Lleyton could have used his hand
It would have helped him out of his predicament
So he ran home and made a blueprint for his big idea
Sani-Glove!
Sani-Glove!
Heavens above
It's Sani-Glove!
You will love
Sani-Glove!
It's durable it's practical it's Sani
As in "-tary"
The toilet paper companies were curious
But when they realised they were furious
The Sani-Glove had the power to bring them down
To the ground!
The Sani-Glove could save millions of trees
And with a special attachment it could wax bikinis
He was hunted down by the toilet paper companies
They smashed up all his blueprints and they killed his family
Then they made his brother retarded
And the inventor of the Sani-Glove was me!
Sani-Glove
Sani-Glove
When push comes to shove
It was Sani-Glove
Now I'm just a lone busker
And if you don't count this monkey
And my retarded brother
Curse you
Sani-Glove!
We couldn't really think of a secret track to do
So now I'm just making this one up
I hope it doesn't make you spew
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4. |
Shadow of Space
03:25
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5. |
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6. |
Boggyman
04:30
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I'll tell the tale of frogs and snails
And puppydogs' tails
Of sticks and stones and broken bones
And guns and rusty nails
All alone
All alone
Just a travelin' Barbie doll salesman
Sets out for New Orleans
On a dog-drawn wagon
The only dog-drawn wagon ever seen
Drivin' through the marshes
And the fog is thick
Thicker than a pencil
Much thicker than a pencil
And the coach slowed down
And the wheels gummed up
And the dog gummed up as well
And our innocent Barbie salesman
Sank into that boggy hell
All alone
All alone
No-one came to find him
How'd he stay alive?
Made the harsh decision
He had to eat the Barbies to survive
And every night he came out
Of the bog that was his home
A filthy apparition
He would rise out of the foam
Boggy Man
Boogy Man
Bogeyman
He had one objective
One thing on his mind
Dacking helpless women
Every helpless woman he could find
Word soon got about
Of the Boggy Man's dacking thing
So to keep their pants up
The women had to tie them up with string
Even today somehow we know
So our undies have a little bow
To protect us from dacking of the
Boggy Man
Boggy Man
I'll tell the tale of frogs and snails
And puppy-dogs' tails
Of sticks and stones and broken bones
And guns and rusty nails
All alone
All alone
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7. |
Josephine
03:16
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Josephine
I have been
Pretty keen
Saw you in
A magazine
Josephine
I just knew
It was you
Who could do
All the things
I need you to?
It was you
Walkin' down the esplanade
On Sunday morning
Night
Afternoon
Bought a bottle of wine
And went to Luna Park
The doctor
Watch them film "Secret Life of Us"
Then we sang our song
It was a happy tune
Doo-doo-doo toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot-toot
Spirits of the forest can you hear me?
And then Jackie had to pick up the furniture
I would ask you to marry me
It if wasn't for my allergy
Let me give you an analogy
If I was a fish and you were algae
Of course I'd need to be a fish that was allergic
To the type of algae in this analogy
And that's why you can't marry me
Josephine
Josephine
I have touched
Seen
Heard
With my crutch
Theme
Word
And my Dutch
Clean
Bird
Baby if you were from Staffordshire
And then I couldn't have you here
But Josephine you're not a terrier
'Cause all my friends'd laugh at yer
Of course you'd need to be the kind of dog
That everyone approved of
And then I could have you here
And that's why we can't marry yer
Josephine
Josephine
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8. |
The Jizmo Show
03:35
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It's seven-thirty kids
He's on again
He'll make you laugh
And make you smile
And teach you about blood and bile
A creature of non-specified origin
Jizmo!
I'm a happy-going
Easy-larking
Johnny-come-early
Together with my human friend
Stevo the Surly!
Jizmo's got something special for ya
His friends from art school
Owe him a favour
This
Isn't the highest note we can sing!
It's seven-thirty-five
So it's time to go
I hope you've enjoyed the Jizmo Show
We've learnt and had some fun
Well no we haven't
Jizmo!
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9. |
Star Big Kev Wars
05:31
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We've ignored him in the past
Other than the thousands
Of jokes we've made about him
Now his time has come at last
We never knew what he could do
How were we to know
Underneath his coloured shirts
And sunny disposition
Lurked a creature quite disturbing?
Perturbing
Unnerving?
Matt Shirving-ton
I wanna meet chicks
I'm tired of shovelling dirt
I wanna have adventures save the universe
And meet lots of chicks
I'm sick of this dirt
I wanna just clean it all up
I wanna find my father fly a spaceship
And meet lots of chicks
He's now called Enormous Kev
And he's been through
A horrid transformation
With a helmet on his head
A floral one to match his shirt
Kev your time has come at last
Once we were humble farmers
Now an underground cleaning gang
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10. |
Love Scod and Gatesy
03:30
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Six years we've been together now
Just three larrikins knocking about
Remember when we broke into the police station
And tried to steal all the cops?
That was a bad idea
But we were naive
I thought those times would never change
I thought that we'd be shooting fruit launchers forever
But now we've grown older
And we're more comfortable in our skin
All kinds of grown-up feelings
Start slowly creeping in
Every day
Every day without you seems a little bit colder
Every day
But when I think about you I'm a little bit bolder
Maybe the time has come to run away
I can't stop thinking of you
There ain't no nothing
We can't love each other through
So late at night when heaven explodes
And volcanoes start to burn
I realise the naked truth
That it's for you for whom I yearn
Oh Gatesy will you be mine?
Scoddy yes I will!
Every day
Every day without you seems a little bit colder
Every day
When I think about you I'm a little bit bolder
Maybe the time has come to run away
To run away!
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11. |
Sniff and Stiff
04:07
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Six years we've been together now
Just three larrikins knocking about
Remember when we broke into the police station
And tried to steal all the cops?
That was a bad idea
But we were naive
I thought those times would never change
I thought that we'd be shooting fruit launchers forever
But now we've grown older
And we're more comfortable in our skin
All kinds of grown-up feelings
Start slowly creeping in
Every day
Every day without you seems a little bit colder
Every day
But when I think about you I'm a little bit bolder
Maybe the time has come to run away
I can't stop thinking of you
There ain't no nothing
We can't love each other through
So late at night when heaven explodes
And volcanoes start to burn
I realise the naked truth
That it's for you for whom I yearn
Oh Gatesy will you be mine?
Scoddy yes I will!
Every day
Every day without you seems a little bit colder
Every day
When I think about you I'm a little bit bolder
Maybe the time has come to run away
To run away!
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12. |
Transformer Topics
02:38
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13. |
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They say that if you try you'll achieve your dreams
But who will pay the price in between?
You'd hope that being family was enough
But circumstances can be tough
You have to choose
And one of you must lose
On the world of Transformers
The man Transformers are in charge
You never hear about
The lady Transformers
But they do exist and they often come
In pairs not come
They exist!
Exist exist exist exist!
The sisters' names
Are Weapontron and Kate
And through this game
Their love has turned to hate
When you're a Transformer
You will see that some things never change
They might just re-arrange
Into a car
A truck
A plane
But if you're Weapontron and Kate
You might not have so much luck
You might not turn into a truck
How does a Transformer get ahead
When the thing they turn into is fairy bread?
Weapontron and Kate had to find a skill
Because they couldn't fight or kill
And their transformations
Weren't that much to see
But they had photographic memory
And lots of mental energy
And so they entered
A Transformer spelling bee
Which caused sibling rivalry
When you're a Transformer
You will see that some things never change
They might just re-arrange
Into a car
A truck
A plane
But if you're Weapontron and Kate
You might not have so much luck
You might not turn into a truck
How does a Transformer get ahead
When the thing they turn into is fairy bread?
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14. |
Kevin Bacon
05:31
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If it is true that
There's just six degrees of me
Why am I so lonely?
I drift from town to town
Nomadically
Nobody wants me
'Cause fame is so fickle
If this town's a burger
Then I am the pickle
Such a shame that I got arrested
For wearing an obscene T-shirt
All it said was "Kiss Me Then Pork Me"
It's just 'cause my name is
Kevin Bacon
Kevin Bacon
It's a joke I'm makin'
But they didn't get it
And I'm sittin' here in gaol
Doin' the hand-spider movement
I had to bunk up with a former politician
I use that term rather liberally
Then Pauline busted some rhymes for me
You feelin' like you failed
Now ya sittin' in gaol
The only thing you have for a toilet is a pail
But Kevin stop dancin'
And listen to me I'm Pauline Hanson
I'll get ya out of here gotta listen to my plan son
Kevin Bacon
Kevin Bacon
It's a joke I'm makin'
Get it?
So I jumped on the thing
That looked just like a camel
Mixed with a deer or a pony
I rode off into the sunset with my alpaca
I was no longer alone-y
It's such a shame that I got arrested
For wearing an obscene T-shirt
All it said was "Kiss Me Then Pork Me"
It's just 'cause my name is
Kevin Bacon
I'm not fakin'
I'm making a statement
I'm Kevin Bacon!
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15. |
Here's Wally
04:18
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Sometimes I feel
Like nobody notices me
Lost in a crowd
And shouting out loud
Come find me
I don't want to come across
Bitter and dramatic
But every crowd I'm lost in
Seems so thematic
It's always engineers
Or elephants or rodeos
Or space-themed idgits
I would have thought I'd stood out
In a crowd of lesbian midgets
It's always where
Where
Where
Where's Wally?
I just can't bear
Where
Where
Where's Wally?
But it's not fair
'Cause I'm right there
And you just stare
One time in my life
I'd like to hear
Here's Wally!
Everybody says my look
Is quite distinctive
Picking me out in a crowd
Should be instinctive
My frustration
It is never-ending
Wearing all this red and white
And still I blend in
Who would ever have imagined
That I'd be dressed the same
As everyone at a
Beauty Pageant?
It's always Where
Where's Wally?
I just can't bear
Where
Where
Where's Wally?
But it's not fair
'Cause I'm right there
And you just stare
One time in my life
I'd like to hear
Here's Wally!
Sometimes I dream of a place
Where I could fly to
I'm sick and tired of everyone
Dressing like I do
What's the point of us being Wally
When everyone out-Wallys us?
Maybe I should get some new clothes
Bulk up
Get a tan
Lose the glasses
Neaten up the bikini line
By means of electrolysis
And they'll say
There
There
There
There's Wally!
He's got no hair!
But there
There
There's Wally!
And they'll say There there's Wally!
Yes they'll say There there's Wally!
Yes they'll say There there there there's Wally!
Yes they'll say There there there there
Here's Wally!
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16. |
Hidden Track 1
01:08
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17. |
Hidden Track 2
01:42
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Tripod Melbourne, Australia
Tripod are three Australian men who are funny and write good songs.
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