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Men of Substance

by Tripod

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djzachlorton
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djzachlorton Perhaps one of the defining statements of the Tripes growing older, and doing so with panache and grace. MEN OF SUBSTANCE embraces the curse of the aged by leaning into everything they experience by making it sound like, "Yeah, we meant to do that." Adult Contemporary, Waiting for the Game to Load, and the full-band version of Lingering Dad help lift this album to heights some comedy albums just can't reach. I Am Beautiful is a fantastic bit for the fans, and DILF is a killer premise. Favorite track: One More Annoying Couple.
Matt Nicol
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Matt Nicol Sweet point nine! Favorite track: BAS Time.
Richard Harrison (@mr_spoon)
Richard Harrison (@mr_spoon) thumbnail
Richard Harrison (@mr_spoon) Why do I love this album? I don't know, it's not out yet, I might hate it...it's always a possibility. HOWEVER, Tripod are amazing guys who sing about mucus, drawers and bloated corpses so why wouldn't I? Like Rod, Jane and Freddie but funnier, like Tim Minchin but 3 times more man.
Steph
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Steph Their newsletter whispers a strange chittering language to me in my sleep. I swear it sounds as if it's saying 'buy our albums'. Favorite track: The Blueprint.
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1.
Look at me I’m a much maturer man Than what I used to be I’ve had losses on my way And I’ve had victories And I’ve found comfort In adult contemporary Wait and see When you reach certain age You will be just like me You won’t be hiding anymore And finally You’ll be free Adult contemporary Look and see At the raves and at the rock shows There’s no sign of me The only festivals I go to Are at wineries With good amenities Musically I haven’t had a new experience Since ninety-four The only songs I wanna her Are ones I’ve heard before I don’t need no more I’m driving to Bunnings With my favourite sounds The stereo’s up And the windows are down Yes I’m down With the music of the man Who knows what life’s about It’s not about being cool It’s about keeping warm Adult contemporary
2.
DILF 04:11
The search is done You've fought and you have won You've jostled hard And now you've got the prize It's your day You've caught the great bouquet Now here am Before your very eyes I'm handy round the house I'll tear then repair your blouse You've found yourself a DILF DILF My youth is passed My experience is vast I'm sensitive But solid as a rock I always replace lids I'm incredible with kids I know just how to Clean and oil a wok I'll love you all night long And in the morning I'll change the linen You've found yourself a DILF DILF D Does things I Is into you L Longterm F The man you'd like to father your child DILF The women at the park They circle me like sharks The can tell a real man from a mile Anyone can see The way they look at me As I pack the car and buckle in my child They all want a piece of it Because i've proved I can commit But you can relax Secure in your tracky dacks You snagged yourself a DILF DILF They're lookin' at a DILF DILF D Is for our destiny I For the love I have for you L For the love I have for you F For the love I have for you
3.
Triangle of happiness Triangle of happiness Triangle of happiness Oh! Make your house near your work and Oh! Make your work near the shops and Oh! Well according to that well People who live above the milk bar where they work are the happiest They're not trapped at all Triangle of happiness Triangle of happiness Triangle of happiness Oh! Be your own boss and Oh! Work with people you trust and Oh! Well according to that well People who run a small business with their own wife are the happiest They're not trapped at all Triangle of happiness Triangle of happiness Triangle of happiness Oh! Go to uni and work with Oh! Start a band and write songs with Oh! Go on tour and rehearse with Oh! Spend half of your life with Oh! Probably end up tonight with Oh! Triangle of happiness Triangle of happiness Triangle of
4.
Gay Bar 02:36
I went to a gay bar to pick up a fag hag I went to a gay bar to pick up a fag hag I went to a gay bar to pick up a fag hag That’s how your mum and me met She wanted a gay man And I was the closest that she could get That’s how your mum and me met All the boys there were so well groomed All the boys there were so well groomed I was the worst looking one in the room That’s how your mum and me met She wanted a gay man And I was the closest that she could get Your mum likes cock but she likes men that like cock But cos they can’t let her like men who like cock She had to go with a no cock man Your mum likes cock but she likes men that like cock But cos they can’t let her like men who like cock She had to go with a no cock man I went to a gay bar to pick up a fag hag I went to a gay bar to pick up a fag hag I went to a gay bar to pick up a fag hag I went to a gay bar to pick up a fag hag Crappy apparel Fish in a barrel
5.
Dearly beloved We’re here to witness A beautiful union Look at the lovers They’re in a bubble Staring into each other’s eyes He is s great bloke She is a legend I think I’m qualified to say That there’s One more annoying couple in the world Tonight One more annoying couple Make the rest of us feel shite Alright Soon they’re be wearing Matching Birkenstocks Talking ‘bout their new dog-slash-child Backing each other’s Stupid opinions We liked this We didn’t like that Their love is an eagle Soaring above us Pooing wherever it wants One more annoying couple One more annoying couple in the world Tonight One more annoying couple Who think they’ve seen the light Get ‘em out of my sight Maybe it’s time I got out of the priest game
6.
BAS Time 05:00
Everybody say yeah! Put your hands in the air! It’s BAS time! It’s BAS time! Hitting that ass like a superstar Cruising round the city in a Jaguar You’re ten percent poorer than you think you are yeah It’s BAS time! It’s BAS time! The tax man wants you to be part of his crew It’s too good to be true Working it out with your pens and erasers On a quarterly basis It’s BAS time! It’s a good thing And it never ends In only three months You get to do it again Divide everything That you spend by ten Oh yeah Listen up We’re gonna talk about a different number now A lot curvier A lot slidier A lot rounder Sweet point nine Look at its curves Sweet sweet point nine It’s like a skinny man with a big head Looking at a rock Oh yeah Take me there Sweet point nine All this dividing When we should be Multiplying By sweet point nine Sweet point nine Let’s use the X sign Instead of the Dots with the line Oh take me there Let’s have fun Let’s get really really accurate baby Point nine one Recurring Recurring One one one Keep it recurring Take me closer To infinity Closer Closer Take me closer Take me closer Take me closer Take me closer Raise all your invoices! Shout out with your out voices B-A-S! B-A-S! B-A-S! B-A-S! B-A-S! B-A-S! B-A-S
7.
Almost done Working on A blueprint Action plan You and me Pin it up On the wall The blueprint It’s time we began You and me We’ll buy a little house together In the inner city Have a baby And we’ll Close the local pubs down Close the local pubs down And then we’ll buy a four-wheel drive And clog up all the cafes With our massive prams See I’ve drawn Look here on The Blueprint See that’s you Jogging With your iPod Nano Your favourite playlist Of Aussie rock bands While you Close the local pubs down Close the local pubs down I’ve worked it out It’s all prepared The life we’ll have When we are wed I’ve made a diorama Tiny papa tiny mama Tiny thirty dollar mains On all the menus And tiny scale model Licensing restrictions In all the live venues Me and you Let’s move to Where the music is And stop it
8.
I'm not sure that I will be very well-suited To the new post-climate-change society It bothers me I'm not sure that I have the tools to deal With the complete collapse of the modern world I'd be rooted I burn easily And my feet get sore when I walk barefoot It's pathetic I'd last two seconds I'm not sure that I'd Have a chance in a half-drowned Post-technological world I'm not sure that I know enough about bush tucker Or how to get water from cactuses Aren't they prickly or something? I've got no indigenous friends And I'm sure they'd get suss If I tried to buddy up to them at this late stage They'd be onto me I get bored quickly If I couldn't stare at a screen all day I'd have no purpose I'd be a vegetable I'm not sure that I'd Have a chance in a DIY Make-your-own-fun world Even allowing for the possibility That it might not be exactly like Mad Max You can be sure that there'd still be a healthy amount Of fighting marauders off And I'm not much good At fighting marauders off I learnt this at my year twelve formal I'm not sure that I have the upper body strength To cope with all the rowing in an ocean-based world I'd be completely at sea And my wordsmithery Would fall on deaf ears With the people with hats made of sheep skulls Then they'd kill me I'm not sure that there'd Be a place for a fey bookish technophile In a physically challenging Nomadic foraging siphoning dot-painting Oral tradition world
9.
Lingering dad Half in the doorway Lingering dad Awkward and indecisive Lingering dad You're just standing there And I'm doing my homework You're freaking me out Lingering dad Do you have something to say? Either come in or go away! Lingering dad Just do something! Lingering dad Clean up the garage I don't care! Lingering dad You always just hover I think it's mum's fault She's so decisive Lingering dad You're an example Of everything sad About men's role in society! Lingering dad You don't know what your role is Lingering dad Piss off! Lingering dad You're freaking me out You're freaking me out Lingering dad Lingering dad You're freaking me out You're freaking me out Lingering dad Lingering dad You're freaking me out You're freaking me out Lingering dad Lingering dad You're freaking me out You're freaking me out Lingering dad Lingering dad You're freaking me out You're freaking me out Lingering dad Lingering dad
10.
I may not have The skin of that Iglesias boy The kind of eyes That light the sky The symmetry The colouring The poise and the posture I may not be so pretty But I am beautiful I am beautiful
11.
Thursday 02:37
Just a good time boy On a Thursday night Got some of my posse together In my third best t-shirt I’ll be feelin’ alright Gonna have a fairly good time! Thursday Thursday Thursday You can go reasonably hard Thursday Thursday Thursday Gonna have a fairly good time! We’ll meet up at seven We’ll be tipsy by eight I got my thirty dollars right here We’ll just hang loose No need to designate Cos anyone of us can drive home Thursday Thursday Thursday I got work in the morning Thursday Thursday Thursday I can be slightly hungover Don’t stop me Don’t stop me Don’t stop me Don’t stop me ‘Cos I can stop myself! Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday Thursday It’s only Thursday Yeah yeah yeah Yeah yeah yeah It’s not Monday Or Tuesday Or Wednesday Or Thursday Or Friday Or Saturday Or Sunday Or Monday Thursday Thursday Thursday Gonna get on the light beer Hey! Gonna get on the light beer Hey! Gonna get on the light beer five times! Hey Hey Hey Hey Hey
12.
Feelings exchanged Notions explored Histories shared Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Put in the tape Type in load Press play on tape Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load We were Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load We were Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Impossible Mission Aztec Challenge Samantha Fox Strip Poker Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Your voice has broken Yours hasn’t yet I’m singing down here Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load We were Waiting for the game to load Eating some Toobs and Waiting for the game to load Having nice chats and Waiting for the game to load Checking out your sister yeah Waiting for the game to load You fucken kids You don’t know what you’ve got You haven’t done the time Waiting for the game to load You haven’t done the load time You haven’t done the load time You haven’t done the load time Sorry to snap I just miss those days When we were boys Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load Waiting for the game to load
13.
With all of my riches And all of my fame I’d throw it all away tomorrow Sacrifice it all Just to be Slightly richer And a little bit more famous With all my achievements And all that I’ve got I’d leave all all behind tomorrow I’d just walk away Just to have One huge hit single I’d leave it all behind To be massive I’d walk out the door I’d just say “No more.” Close this chapter of my life For a better one

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released March 28, 2013

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Tripod Melbourne, Australia

Tripod are three Australian men who are funny and write good songs.

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