Middleborough Rd

by Tripod

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about

This album won us an ARIA! Steroided versions (courtesy of producer Cam McKenzie) of tunes we mostly wrote for the TV show Skithouse. Astronaut is the epic moster we always had in our heads when we sang it with one guitar. Completely different version of Hot Girl in the Comic Shop to the way we do it live. Old Money, our poshness fetish song with gorgeous strings. On Behalf of all the Geeks - most ridiculous key change we've done to date.

credits

released October 11, 2004

Produced and arranged by Cam McKenzie and Tripod
Recorded and mixed by Cam McKenzie
Recorded at Metropolis, Station Place, Gatesy's Place & Yon's Place
Assisted at Metropolis by Carl Schubert
Mastered by Joseph Carra at Crystal Mastering
All words and music by Tripod except the bit we stole from Bach
Tripod are Scott Edgar, Simon Hall and Steven Gates
with:
John Watson: Drums
Chris Bekker: Bass
Scod, Gatesy, Cam: Acoustic guitars
Gatesy: Electric guitars
James Black: Keyboards on track 4,5,13,16
Prentiss Clake-Jones: Cello of track 15
Sarah Morse: Cello on track 12
Yon: Trumpet
Rudy Osadnik: Violin
All other noises: Tripod and Cam McKenzie

Originally Released by: Liberation Music
Design by The Downie Breitkreuz Group
Photography by Joe Armao

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Track Name: Always Get Into Stuff
I always get into stuff
Just as it's finishing being cool
I'm never quite brave enough
To take a chance on something new
That's for someone else to do

Oo-oo-ooo-oo

I'm never too far behind
I follow the trends
But I never take any risks
I'm not ahead of the pack
I'm just with the pack
Towards the back

I know all about moshing
They do it in pits
I'm quite the Pearl Jam fan
I just bought their greatest hits

Woh-Oh I'm thinking of getting a nose ring
Now that I've seen one on Neighbours
Oo-oo-oo-ooo-oo

I always get into stuff
Just as it's finishing being cool

I've got a Razor scooter out the back
Which I bought in 2002
Oo-oo-oo-ooo-oo
Oo-oo-oo-ooo-oo

Taking a chance
That's just not for me
If there's four levels of cool
Then I'm at level three

It goes:
Freakishly cool people first
Cool people next
Then there's me

And then my mum

I never try to set a trend
'Cause I've been hurt before
The only time I went out on a limb
It didn't work out for the best
A bandanna round my chest
Over a vest

I always get into stuff
Just as it's finishing being cool
Taking such big fashion risks
That's for rockstars to do

You can afford
To wear whatever you like
When you get that much poontang

Do you like that word?

Poontang?

I think it's cool

What do you think?

Me neither
Track Name: Boobs
I typed my own name into an internet search engine
And all I got was boobs
There goes my day again
There goes my day again
What's a man supposed to do?

No matter what I type into the damn search engine
All I get is boobs
There goes my day again
There goes my day again
All I seem to ever get is boobs.

Everyday I have the purest of intentions
But I get ambushed by this time wasting invention
Time wasting invention
I'm not talkin' 'bout the net
I'm talkin' 'bout boobs

(oooooo)
Boo boo boobie doo boo boo

There goes my day again
There goes my day again
These days when I'm on the net
I just cut the crap and type in boobs
Track Name: Trying to Impress the Bargirl
I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get
I can't believe that no one's thought of this before
This is a fool-proof plan
I'm sure I'm the man of her dreams
The drunker I get
The more impressed she seems
It's the perfect plan!

I'm trying to impress the bargirl by seeing how drunk I can get
My friends have left
I guess they didn't want to cramp my style
She keeps a professional distance
But I know what she truly thinks
If she didn't want me
Why would she keep bringing drinks?
It's the perfect plan!

So I asked her when does she get off
And she answers where do I get off
And I said that's funny
The bouncers watch me intently
I suppose they're just jealous of me
Because I'm so funny

She's going a little bit blurry
Something is coming towards me
I think I'm about to be kissed

No that's just a fist
Track Name: If I Had a Tattoo
If I had a tattoo
I would get one of you
Or at least of a generic woman's body
And draw your head on with a texta

If I had a tattoo
I would get one of your name
Or at least I'd get the alphabet
And circle all the letters that I needed

You know I wanna stay with you forever
Spend eternity with you
There's nothing that our love won't last us through
But a tattoo, just seems so permanent

If I had a tattoo
I would get one of you
Or at least of a generic woman's body
and draw your head on with a texta

If I had a tattoo
I would get one of your name
Or at least I'd get the alphabet
and circle all the letters that I needed

You know I wanna stay with you forever
Spend eternity with you
There's nothing that our love won't last us through
But a tattoo just seems so permanent

So I got a tattoo
From a temporary tattoo parlor
The tattoo it stayed on
but the parlor's gone
Track Name: Snapshots
Snapshots of a childhood
Pictures of a boy
How can they be photos of me?

Seems so unfamiliar
Seems so long ago
Looks like a foreign country

How did I get from there to here?
Who is this boy that I see?

I think you've given me the wrong film back again
How many times does this have to happen?
Now, some Indian looking kid
Has photos of me at Dreamworld

I don't care if other customers are waiting
No, I will not lower my voice
Don't look at them
They're not gonna help you
What are you prepared to do for me?

Oh I just remembered
What's on the rest of that film

You've got a lot of explaining to do
When the woman in the sari comes back
I'm pretty sure her religious beliefs
Are not in line with the contents of my photos

When I think about the boy in those photos
I wonder what he thinks of me
I hope that Indian woman doesn't judge me
I have a lot of respect for her culture
I've read all my Salman Rushdie

I really can't express how mortified I am about this situation

Fuck this I'm going digital
Track Name: Hot Girl in the Comic Shop
There was a hot girl in the comic shop
And I didn't know what to do
There was a hot girl in the comic shop
She was looking at the Doctor Who
There was an actual girl in the comic shop
What a momentous day
I had to check to make sure that she wasn't just
A human-sized cardboard display

My competition was a kid with pimples and a guy in a wheelchair
And so I knew I had to act fast

There was a hot girl in the comic shop
Where I've never seen a girl before
A kind of indie-looking girl in the comic shop
And she knew her way around the store

Oh my Lord she's moving towards the role playing games
Oh my God she's picking out dice

So many questions in my mind
What would be a good pick up line?
Why had a hot girl just come in?
If the Hulk fought Spiderman who would win?

I guess that Spiderman's advantage would be his webs
And his manual dexterity
But then again the Hulk's endurance is limitless
And he' stronger then spidey would be

He's got the healing factor
And the proportional strength
But there's the schizophrenia
But there's the photography skills

It's so hard to know

Hot girl
Hot girl

There was a hot girl in the comic shop
About ten minutes ago
There was a hot girl in the comic shop
Did anyone see her go?

Had she come to the comic shop
Looking for love?
I guess I'll never know
Track Name: In the Countryside
I watch a weary old man with his briefcase
Each year of city life a wrinkle on his tired face
Is this the man that I will turn into?
Then I think of you

Somewhere across the city
You are on a train
Looking at a wrinkled lady
We should get out of here baby

We'll take the road out to the countryside my dear
Where the mountains go forever
And the birds are always near

We'll build a better life
We'll leave the city far behind us
Living where the outside world will never find us

Stockpiling weaponry

Ly ly ly ly ly ly, bazookas ly ly ly
Ly ly ly, hand grenades ly ly ly ly ly ly
Ly ly ly ly ly, booby traps ly ly ly ly
Ly, bunker network ly ly ly ly ly ly ly
Ly ly ly ly ly ly ly ly ly ly ly guns
Ly ly ly ly ly ly ly fade out ly ly ly
Ly ly ly ly black helicopters...
Track Name: Stuntman
Being on television
Is a dream come true

I get to play dress-ups all day long
Too-too-oo-oo-oo-oo

I got to be a superhero
I got to be a singer in a band
But it's not quite perfect
Living in TV land

'Cause my stuntman
Stuntman
Stuntman
Is a woman

Out of the entire
Stunt community
A woman was
The one who had the closest
Body shape to me

When all the action starts
I just sit and stew
'Cause they get a girl to do the things
That I'm too wussy to do

'Cause my stuntman
Stuntman
Stuntman
Is a woman

'Cause my stuntman
Stuntman
Stuntman
Is a woman

And the stunts they get her to do
Aren't even that stunt-y
If he needs a stuntman to stand on a box
It's a bit affront-y

There was this one scene
Where I get hit by a truck
But they didn't even use her

They used a dummy
Of a woman

This situation
Was not part of my plans
She soaks up all the glory
While I'm sitting alone in the van

'Cause it takes a woman
Woman
Woman

To make me look like a
...man
Track Name: On Behalf of All the Geeks
On behalf of all the geeks
I'd just like to say
I've been telling you all along
That Lord of the Rings was cool

He told you so many times
I told you
He told you so many ways
I told you

I wore a cloak to school every day
But who's laughing now?
Ha ha ha

Now you'll all do as I did
You'll name your first child "Bilbo"

Now you'll all do as I did
You'll do a short course in fletching
That's arrow manufacture you amateurs

But don't try to catch up now
It's too late to make amends
You were far too busy with girls and cars and sport
And friends
Track Name: Fly So High
I never thought I could fly so high
When I met you I touched the sky
You sent me flying higher than I've ever been
Who would've thought you'd be such a crack shot
With a rocket launcher?

When I first saw you I went to pieces
My heart exploded and the rest of my body did too
Where have you been all my life
Apparently just behind that bush
Lying in wait, stocked up and ready to fire

Suddenly you just appeared in my life
And now I'm in heaven
Track Name: That's Why I'm Sending You...
Well now honey
We've had a good life you and me
All these years we've been so happy
But now lately
Things just ain't working
So I think it's time to just let it be

That's why I'm sending you
This text message
To let you know that we're through
Concisely

It was great
G-R-8
To be
2-B
With you
W-I-T-H-U
But now honey
H-1-E
Oh, we're through
T-H-R-U

I wish that I had predicted
That it would end this way
Just like my phone can predict
What I wanna say

It was ace
Bad Cad Ace
And I hate
Have Gave Gate Hate
To lose
Lord Lose Lore ah! Jose Kore Jord Lord Lose

What we had you and I
But I'm not the right guy
I don't wanna see you cry
I'd rather did

(Mobile phone tone)

Die
Track Name: Old Money
I'm at a moment in my life
When I want more
Than just a pretty little head
Some random girl to warm my bed
No instead I'm gonna hold out
Cause I finally know exactly what I want

Old money old money
I'd really like to meet a girl who comes from
Old money old money
Some pointless twit who thinks I'm scum

She's got to be the kind of girl
Who wouldn't know
How to toast a piece of bread

The kind of girl who if you said "Where's the laundry?"
She would answer "How the hell would I know, is it near the stable?"
And at the table
I would mispronouce the food and she would laugh at me

Her parents scowl
As I get confused by all the fancy cutlery
They're just plain better than me

Old money old money
Ooo yeah ooo yeah

She'll always be extremely rude to the help
And when she's not around
The help will then be rude to me
'Cause they can see I've got no place here
She's just using me to get back at her father

And the butler
Is the only one who's ever really nice to me
We play at dice
And he teaches me the finer points of falconry

Until the night her father summons him up to the study
The next day we go fishing him and me
I'm unpacking my sandwich when he throws me in the water
And bashes me with an oar untill I drown
Yeah that'd be sweet.

Old money old money
She'll look back at me as just a fad
Old money old money
Old money old money
She's only using me to get back at her dad
Track Name: Gonna Make You Happy Tonight
Doo doo
Doo doo
Doo doo doo doo

Doo doo
Doo doo
Doo doo doo doo

Baby gonna make you happy tonight
Gonna make you happy tonight
Oh sugar

Give my love to you oh, baby
Gonna make you feel so right
Gonna make you, make you happy
Oooh sugar
Spend some time with you do the things you want me to
We're gonna make love
Gonna make some sweet sweet love sugar
So get ready
Oh get ready get ready
Ready for lovin' tonight

Before we get down to love
Before we get down
I just gotta finish this level

I've got a high score tonight
And I just wanna save my game

Well I'll be with you in a minute sweet darling baby honey
I love how you dance for me
Could you move a little to the left baby?
I can't see the TV

Baby I can't wait 'till we start
It's just that the save points are quite far apart
In this game, baby

This bit's got a multiplayer section baby
Maybe you can operate a turret with me
Would that be romantic baby?

Games give you hand-eye coordination
And spatial intelligence together with map-reading skills
Oh sugar

Turn the lights down low
Turn the lights down just a little bit lower baby
Turn the lights down low
Turn the lights down low
Turn the lights down low
It's just that it helps me feel like I'm in a spaceship
And we can make some
Sweet sweet love, honey
Sugar
Baby

Ooh you lookin' so great to me baby
Have you brushed your teeth yet?
Take your time no hurry
It's just that I'm not tired
Are you tired?
I'll see you in the bed then
You might want to take a book
Baby
Ooh you so fine baby
You know I can't stop thinking about you baby
And all of the magic coins that I need to collect
Before I can come to bed baby
It's just if I can find enough secret areas
Then I can get the bonus points and we can make love
Yeah!

I think this X-Box
Is the best present I've ever bought for you
Baby
Track Name: Let's Take a Walk
Let's take a walk my love
Down by the river my baby
Down where we used to go
Until the day when we found that body

Please don't forget my love
It was our favorite spot once
Please don't let one bloated corpse ruin all our memories

I know you slipped down a muddy embankment
And landed on a rotting body
Please don't let that spoil that place for you
'Cause don't forget we kissed there too

"Oh come on baby, get over it. I love you so much better than that dead body. I'd hate to think our relationship hung by a thread of whether we saw a body or not. Hey look, I kept a memento: it's the stick we poked it with. Oh come on baby!"

Da da da da...

Ohhhh the memories were fantastic
Except for one guy wrapped in plastic
Down where we used to go
Untill the day when we found that body
Track Name: Santa Fe
It was a cold and rainy night in Santa Fe
But I was in Melbourne
So it didn't affect me in any way

And the rain on the all faces on the lost and lonely crowd
I imagine would have been quite unsettling

I never go anywhere

And the sailors grin with rotting teeth in Santa Fe
Now I'm just making it up

And the whores look out the windows of the whore districts
Do they have whore districts?
Maybe they're just spread out more discreetly
Anyway either way they would definitely have windows

I never go anywhere

You can hope to God when you arrive in Santa Fe
That I am not your tour guide

I don't even know where it is
Is it cold is it even in America?
Do they speak Spanish? It sounds like they would speak Spanish
But how would I know

I never go anywhere

If there's one thing I could tell you about Santa Fe...

(Long pause)

...Nup
Track Name: Trees
The trees are dying
I'd hate to be a tree in this new century
The trees are crying
I'd hate to have what's down to a tree done to me

'Cause they cut them down and turn them into wood
They rape entire forests for the corporate good
A million awful things are done trees
But worst of all
Worst of all

Trees get chained to hippies
Trees get chained to hippies

Free the trees!
I'd rather have a squirrel store his nuts in me
Help I'm chained up to a hippie
Free the trees
Smokin' dope right near me
Free the trees
And not offering me any
(ree the trees
Playing bongos badly

Whoa whoa whoa

Free the trees
Oh If I fall in the forest no one's gonna hear me but these fuckin' hippies
Free the trees
You know I'd rather be a table
Free the trees
I think I'd rather be woodchips
Free the trees
I'd rather be cigarette papers that's for sure

Uh yeah uh yeah come on
Free the trees free the trees free the trees

I've made my point quite clearly.
Am I laboring it now?
Track Name: Astronaut
I know what you're all wondering
Have Tripod ever been to Japan?
You're ignoring a much bigger question
Why don't the Japanese have a space program?

Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts?
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronaut?
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
I'll tell you why

Because you can't do
The Japanese tea ceremony when you're an astronaut
It's those damn fat gloves
Fat gloves

And you can't do
You can't do
The Japanese tea ceremony when you're in zero grav
'Cause the tea goes everywhere
The tea goes everywhere

Japanese culture has always fascinated me
From their traditions to their modern way of life
But all their elegance and rich history
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space

Because you can't carry out
a ninja-style assassination dressed as an astronaut
It's the luminous fabric
You're too visible

And they don't let you
Use a samurai sword when your an astronaut
You might puncture the suit
You might depressurise
Like a Gremlin in a microwave

But it's those damn fat gloves
Fat gloves
They're the main problem
You can't nurture your Tamagochi
Fat gloves
You can't make an origami swan

And have you ever tried getting a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle?
Well I've tried
They don't let you
Fucking NASA red tape

I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
I had to find myself a whole new job
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place

But you can't do
The Japanese tea ceremony when you're a boxing champ
It's those damn fat gloves again
Fat gloves again

Those confounded puffy mitts
Loom right in front of my face
Every night in bed
I'm haunted by fat gloves
Fat fat

You can't drink sake
You can't do bukkake
Or ride a Kawasaki
When you're an astronaut

And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese telly
'Cause you're not enough of a red herring