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Astronaut

from Middleborough Rd by Tripod

/

lyrics

I know what you're all wondering
Have Tripod ever been to Japan?
You're ignoring a much bigger question
Why don't the Japanese have a space program?

Why aren't there any Japanese astronauts?
Have you ever seen a Japanese astronaut?
I'll tell you why you haven't seen one
I'll tell you why

Because you can't do
The Japanese tea ceremony when you're an astronaut
It's those damn fat gloves
Fat gloves

And you can't do
You can't do
The Japanese tea ceremony when you're in zero grav
'Cause the tea goes everywhere
The tea goes everywhere

Japanese culture has always fascinated me
From their traditions to their modern way of life
But all their elegance and rich history
Doesn't sit well with my interest in space

Because you can't carry out
a ninja-style assassination dressed as an astronaut
It's the luminous fabric
You're too visible

And they don't let you
Use a samurai sword when your an astronaut
You might puncture the suit
You might depressurise
Like a Gremlin in a microwave

But it's those damn fat gloves
Fat gloves
They're the main problem
You can't nurture your Tamagochi
Fat gloves
You can't make an origami swan

And have you ever tried getting a used panty vending machine into a space shuttle?
Well I've tried
They don't let you
Fucking NASA red tape

I couldn't reconcile the two things that I loved
So I threw away my dreams of outer space
I had to find myself a whole new job
Maybe in the sports arena I would find a place

But you can't do
The Japanese tea ceremony when you're a boxing champ
It's those damn fat gloves again
Fat gloves again

Those confounded puffy mitts
Loom right in front of my face
Every night in bed
I'm haunted by fat gloves
Fat fat

You can't drink sake
You can't do bukkake
Or ride a Kawasaki
When you're an astronaut

And they don't let you be an astronaut on Japanese telly
'Cause you're not enough of a red herring

credits

from Middleborough Rd, released October 11, 2004

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Tripod Melbourne, Australia

Tripod are three Australian men who are funny and write good songs.

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