Get all 11 Tripod releases available on Bandcamp and save 35%.
Includes unlimited streaming via the free Bandcamp app, plus high-quality downloads of Spanish Influencer, How To Train An Attack Dog From Scratch, Perfectly Good Songs, Men of Substance, Tripod versus the Dragon, Songs from Self-Saucing, Middleborough Rd, Fegh Maha, and 3 more.
1. |
Mucus
07:35
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Mucus I love you 'cause of all of the useful things you do
You are the fluid when I'm disillusioned you're who I go to
There is no secretion that is as versatile as you
Mucus I love you mucus I do
Oh mucus how do I give thanks to you 'cause
There's no end to all the tasks that are done by mucus
Disinfectant
Insulation
Mucus you trap foreign bodies
You're a sealant lubricant and you're a glue ‘cause
Venus flytraps they secrete extra sticky mucus
Also
As a mode of
Transportation
Mucus you're bacteria's best friend
Mucus I love you 'cause of all of the useful things you do
You are the fluid when I'm disillusioned you're who I go to
Back when the Earth was only young
And we were in the ocean life had just begun
Primeval ooze just another word for youse
You are my ancestor
As well as what you do
Mucus I evolved from you!
Mucus I love you
When I'm feeling blue
You will get me through
In movies such as those made by George Lucas
When they need to simulate realistic mucus
Special experts need to be there
Mucus you create employment!
Yeah
Mucus I love you 'cause of all of the useful things you do
You know you do it
There is no secretion that is anywhere as pleasing
That's the reason
Yeah
Mucus
I love you!
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2. |
Apparently
04:27
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Apparently they have the technology
To fix the ozone hole
All you have to do
Is shut down every factory in the world
And that is too much of a sacrifice
Apparently they have the technology
To make a man or woman able to fly
All you have to do
Is have your arms cut off and surgically replaced with wings
And that is too much of a sacrifice
they have the technology
To track any stolen mobile phone
All you have to do
Is get the police to go out and arrest everyone with a stolen mobile phone
And that is too much of a sacrifice
Apparently they had the technology
To fix the millennium bug
All you had to do
Was sit on your arse and do fuck all
But that was too much of a sacrifice!
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3. |
Love Song
03:59
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Words can't express what you mean to me so
Baby it's hard for me to say these things but
Baby it might be painful for you to hear this but
Words can't express what you mean to me
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4. |
2nd Drawer Down
08:42
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Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Sharp blunt long short skinny or round
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Don't leave it sitting on the bench
If you do it'll make an awful stench
You're domestically unstable
If you leave it on the table
You're some hopeless bachelor
If I can see a spatula
You mustn't have a missus
If I can see some scissors
Ladies you know what to do Now us boys can do it too!
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Sharp blunt long short skinny or round
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Second drawer down second
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Sharp blunt long short skinny or round
Everything fits in the second drawer down
If you own a corkscrew or a penknife show some care
I got one thing to say:
Put it away!
I can tell you where
One drawer down from the top drawer
Three from the bottom if you've got four
Hey Mister I can't find my gun!
Have you looked below drawer number one?
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Sharp blunt long short skinny or round
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits in the second drawer down
Second drawer down second drawer down
Everything fits
Second drawer down second drawer down
Aah
Second drawer down second drawer down
Aah
Second drawer down second drawer down
Aah
Second drawer down second drawer down
Almost
Everything fits
Everything fits
Everything fits
In the second drawer down!
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5. |
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6. |
Yon and His Flute
01:44
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7. |
Stalk
03:57
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You say that there isn't a chance
That we two will have a romance
You just need a little more time
But in the meantime
Is it okay if I stalk you?
I just want to make sure you're okay
And behaving while I am away
Is it okay if I stalk you?
Don't mind me I won't get in the way
And although I'll see you every day
You won't see me!
You've stated in words very clear
That you don't require me here
So to your conditions I bow
But for now
Is it okay if I stalk you?
I just want to make sure you're okay
And behaving while I am away
Is it okay if I stalk you?
Don't mind me I won't get in the way
And although I'll see you every day
You won't see me!
I will be in the vicinity
No matter where you go
It's a good thing
What with all of the nutcases out there so
Is it okay if I
Is it okay if I
Is it okay if I
Is it okay if I
Is it okay if I
Is it okay if I
Is it okay if I
Is it okay if I
Is
It okay if I stalk you?
Don't mind me I won't get in the way
And although I'll see you every day
You won't see me 'cause
I'll be concealed in my car
At the back of the bar
In the restaurant behind the piano
The man over there with the hair
And the moustache and wearing the glasses that no offence I wouldn't normally wear
'Cause my eyesight is fine
And with night-vision goggles
I see even better
They flatter you more
Than the closed-circuit video
Is it okay if I stalk you?
I just want to make sure you're okay
And behaving while I am away
Is it okay if I stalk you
stalk you
stalk you
stalk you?
Stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk stalk you
Stalk you
Stalk you?
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8. |
Cuckold
03:19
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I arrived home early
She thought that I'd be late
And my girlie
Wasn't waiting at the gate
I climbed the stairs
The stairs that I had climbed a hundred times before
And there
I heard a noise behind the bedroom door
A silent prayer
Escaped my lips as if I knew what was in store
I
I
Tore the bedsheet off
And there she was with another man
I looked into her eyes and then I knew
I am now a cuckold
She cuckolded me
When your love is loving someone else
A cuckold will you be
This cuckoldation
Has cuckoldified me
And cuckoldentially
I'm cuckoldised
By her cuckoldity
Cuckoldish me
Life has taken on a cuckoldastic twist
I should have seen
When I looked at her
She was a cuckoldist!
I am now a cuckold
She cuckolded me!
Yeah
When your love is loving someone else
A cuckold will you be
Her cuckoldastic tendencies have brought me to my kness
Oh please I'll reminisce on my pre-cuckitious period
And these cuckolditory things have made me post-cuckoldic
Ahh Cuck!
I feel like such a cuckhead
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9. |
Ikea
02:35
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I think that I wanna try
Getting work with the guy
Who makes the plastic television sets for Ikea
So they can put them on show
I think they must
Cost a lot
They look real
And they're not
They're only fake
And they put them on the shelves at Ikea
So when the customers go
And wonder what the stuff would look like at home
It's all set up so they know!
I'd have to learn about plastics
And all the industrial techniques
I could branch out on a sideline
And make plastic food that you can't eat
And plastic trees but my first love is TVs
Make 'em good make 'em fake
There's a lot that's at stake
I'd serve the world
By making plastic stuff for Ikea
The stuff that isn't for sale
You feel so good so at ease
There's no crime or disease
My plastic stuff would make the customers feel happier
Plastic world at Ikea
There's no electrical problems
With a plastic CD player
And you can't hurt your back
Carrying a hollow fridge
You'll never see a single murder
There's no violence on the blank screen of the telly
Plastic printers don't use paper not a single tree is killed
I think that I wanna try
Getting work with the guy
Who makes the plastic television sets for Ikea
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10. |
Busted Mic Stand
02:30
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11. |
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I'm lightin' a candle
As I'm looking through my window
To the town square
The snow covered streets so lonely and bare
Yeah
The town Christmas tree
Winks mockingly at me
'Cause I should be spending Christmas with you
I wrap my last gift and put the sellotape away
Check the answering machine
And in the distance a choir sings
About the joy that Christmas brings
But it's makin' me feel blue
'Cause I should be spending Christmas with you
But it breaks my heart
Cos that's the place I just can't be
'Cause I hate your family
The day I met you
I knew you could get me through
When we're alone
My world is complete
You're all that I need
But when your family call
They shit me up the wall
Spending time with them
Just makes my brain bleed
And it's makin' me feel blue
'Cause I should be spending Christmas with you
But I'd rather string my nuts up
To a Christmas tree
'Cause I hate your family
The night I first met them
The dog was drunk
And your father threatened me
With a knife
Your sister showed me
Her collection of eels
And what she did then
Will stay with me for life
And it's making me spew
'Cause I should be spending Christmas with you
But I'd rather drink a tumbler
Full of walrus wee
'Cause I hate your family
With your brother doing dick tricks at the table
I can't believe your mum asked me to play spin the bottle
Yeah I'd rather be enclosed in a box of killer bees
Yeah I'd rather be attacked by giant chimpanzees
Yeah I'd rather wear a suit designed by Jenny Kee
Your mum is dumb
And your dad is mad
And that's why I'm so sad
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12. |
A Shandy Too Far
05:21
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Table for one
Preferably out of the sun
Somewhere where it's quiet
And a coffee too
Better make it black right through
I'm feeling fairly shite
I don't think I have enough class
To handle drinking from a glass
Just get me water in a plastic cup
I went a shandy too far
I woke up in the bed of
Someone who I never thought I'd do
I know I went a shandy too far
I wonder where I left my car
A shandy too far
Comfortable bed
Shame about the pain in my head
Where'd I leave my shoes?
Well they're over there
Underneath my underwear
And where'd I get this bruise?
I can hear her come down the hall
And bang her head against the wall
And wish she didn't have appalling luck
She went a shandy too far
I woke up in the bed of
Someone who I just never thought I'd do
I know I went a shandy too far
I wonder where I left my car
A shandy too far
Take my advice
In a crisis
Catch a taxi
Catch a bus
But if there's one thing you should never do it's trust yourself
'Cause there's a
Caveman inside
Your brain's just coming along for the ride
You'd think I'd learn
I don't know it all
When it will be safe to call
We used to be quite friendly
But this could be the end
Because we went
We went a shandy too far
I woke up in the bed of
Someone who I never thought I'd do
I know I went a shandy too far
I wonder where I left my car?
A shandy too far
Oo ah oo ah oo
Oo ah oo
Shandy too far
Oo ah oo ah oo
Oo ah oo
Shandy too far
Oo ah oo ah oo
Oo ah oo
Shandy too far
Oo ah oo ah oo
Oo ah oo
Shandy too far
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13. |
I Will Be There
20:30
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Candle dies
On a bedside table
I touch your cheek
And you softly smile
You turn to sleep
But I hold you tighter
I wanna talk for a while
At the end of the day
When you're left all alone
I'll be there
When you're all out of hope
And you just can't go on
I'll be there
I'll be right by your side
In me you can confide
I will take it in my stride
There's no need to hide
'Cause I will be there
When the dishes stack up
And the milk gets left out
I'll be there
When the hi-fi's too loud
And you're having to shout
I'll be there
When the lights get left on
And the Tim-Tams are all gone
And the bill for your phone
Is eight pages long
I will be there
When the chips are left on
And the kitchen burns down
I'll be there
When your friends move away
To a whole 'nother town
I'll be there
When your car has been rolled
And been dumped in Werribee
And your grandma is sold
Into white slavery
And there's rubble and wreckage
Where your flat used to be
And the wrong form gets signed
And you wake up an amputee
Yup I will be there
I will be there
You're in my care
I will be there
I'll brush your hair
I will be there
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Tripod Melbourne, Australia
Tripod are three Australian men who are funny and write good songs.
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