Songs from Self​-​Saucing

by Tripod

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1.
04:33
Now our garden's grown Took so may years We worked hard now we’re here We have grown so strong I could say anything to you right now And it wouldn’t change a thing I get the feeling you might be Autistic Just a little bit Just a little tiny bit yeah Autistic The way that you speak The things that you do Make me think That you don’t quite connect With the outside world It’s something that you wouldn’t even notice If you didn’t know you well But you and I have been in love so long I know that I can tell you You’re my beautiful Slightly autistic girl When you look at me Do you see a man Or just a stack of cylinders Just a bunch of shapes When people talk Do you just watch their lips And enjoy the patterns I get the feeling you might be Autistic Just a little bit, Just a little tiny bit,yeah Autistic It’s such a relief I can finally say And I know you know I love you So you won’t take it the wrong way Autistic, autistic Autistic autistic Oh girl It’s ‘cause our love’s so true I can say this to you You should be thanking me For my honesty Where every wound has been There grows a stronger flap of skin I think we’ve reached a higher place Now I’m looking at your face It’s slightly big I wonder if you have a bit of Downs Syndrome Just a little bit I’m just thinking out loud here Downs Syndrome The size of your face The space between your eyes Your ruddy cheeks And total trust of strangers In the outside world It’s something that you wouldn’t even notice If you didn’t know you well But you and I have been in love so long I know that I can tell you You’re my beautiful Such a special girl You’re my beautiful Slightly special girl You’re my beautiful Why are you angry girl
2.
05:02
Don’t get me wrong, I love Jack Black Adrian Brody is great Naomi Watts is delightful, my friend But I didn’t come here to see any of them Get to the fucking monkey Get to the fucking monkey Get to the fucking monkey Monkey Don’t get me wrong Don’t get me wrong I love Lord of the Rings Meet the Feebles was great Heavenly Creatures I do recommend But I didn’t come here to see any of them Get to the fucking monkey Get to the fucking monkey Get to the fucking monkey Andy Serkis is great in real life, But he’s not who I paid my twelve bucks for Don’t get me wrong I’ve been here so long And I haven’t seen Kong It’s not brain surgery, is it? Why can’t it just be something like this? Opening credits, we’re in a boat, there’s an island in the distance. We hear a roar. It’s King Kong! He jumps on the boat and starts smashing stuff. End of Act 1. Act 2, the whole middle section of the film. Goes for about 10 minutes. Naomi Watts doing gymnastics. Act 3, New York. King Kong starts smashing stuff. There’s a short sex scene between King Kong and Naomi Watts. It’s tasteful though, it’s behind a screen. You just see it in silhouette. Suddenly, Roy Scheider appears. He throws a cylinder of oxygen into King Kong’s mouth and he shoots him and he explodes! The end. Get to the fucking monkey Get to the fucking monkey Other films that would benefit from getting to the motherfucking monkey! Gatesy: Titanic. Opening scene, iceberg! Smash, sinking, sinking, sinking, drown, Leo, drown! Roll credits. Yon: Boogie nights. Opening credits. We see his cock. The end. Scod: Star Wars Episode IV, A New Hope, original 1977 cinema release. Perfect, don’t change it. Get to the fucking monkey Get to the fucking monkey Get to the fu Get to the fu Get to the fu King Kong King Kong King Kong King Kong
3.
03:36
He’s just a tall man With small aspirations All he wants to do Is see the band Don’t give him grief It’s my firm belief He can stand Where he wants to stand He got here When the doors opened Found a good spot Way before you He doesn’t hate ya, He’s just a freak of nature He’s God’s joke What else can he do The cruel tentacles Of the genetic heritage Have wrapped themselves Around his life We shouldn’t despise him We should just study him Perhaps there’s a gene we can remove So future generations Can see the band So don’t disrespect the beanpoles The beanpoles are just like you and me They mean no harm to others They’re just music lovers God made them badly God made them badly
4.
All I wanna do Is watch TV with you But I’ve got too many remotes In my life Trying to watch a DVD Which remote’s for the TV? Do I have to press AV? Or is the input DVD slash LD TV slash slash something Oh, fuck! What order do I have to turn things on Why am I hearing channel 9 But seeing 31 They can put a man on the moon But they can’t help me It’s like I need Houston mission control Just to watch The Simpsons on TV When I have a house sitter come to stay I have to set aside a whole day To type a four page document Briefing them on what to do I’m so tired of all these buttons Look at how complicated life has gotten Too many remotes Too many remotes De-de-de-doo Too many remotes Ba-ba-ba-ba-ba Too many remotes In my… …Life
5.
Lingering dad Half in the doorway Lingering dad Awkward and indecisive Lingering dad You're just standing there And I'm doing my homework You're freaking me out Lingering dad D'you have something to say Either come in or go away Lingering dad Just do something Clean up the garage I don't care Lingering dad You always just hover I think it's mum's fault She's so decisive Lingering dad You're an example of everything sad about men's role in society Lingering dad You don't know what your role is Lingering dad PISS OFF Lingering dad you're freaking me out you're freaking me out Lingering dad you're freaking me out you're freaking me out lingering dad. Look I know you mean well lingering dad You're just trying to be a good dad But you don't know where to start And I wish I could help you But I'm just like you You know we don't have a blueprint We're completely at sea Oh! Let's just go and watch M*A*S*H
6.
I am the Theme from M*A*S*H Guy My kids are the theme from M*A*S*H Guy’s kids My sister is the sister of the guy who wrote The theme from M*A*S*H It’s all I ever did It might be all I ever do I sit in a room in a house Built from the proceeds of the theme from M*A*S*H It’s my legacy I will always be To everybody and to me The guy who wrote the theme From M*A*S*H Whenever anybody does a version Of the theme from M*A*S*H They are legally required To send me a copy Of their version of the theme From M*A*S*H I spend all day listening To recordings of versions of the theme from M*A*S*H I’m building more shelving So I can store the tapes of the recordings Of the versions of the theme from M*A*S*H It’s my legacy I will always be To everybody and to me The guy who wrote the theme From M*A*S*H And on every spine Of every tape On every shelf I see The actual name Of the theme from M*A*S*H Is staring back at me It’s Suicide is Painless Maybe in retrospect I should have called the song The theme from M*A*S*H
7.
No daughter of mine No daughter of mine No daughter of mine Is going to be an insatiable sexual dynamo! No daughter of mine Is gonna be a machine No daughter of mine Is going to make all the boys wildest fantasies come true Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na… No daughter of mine No daughter of mine No daughter of mine Huh! Not while I’m alive Not under my roof No daughter of mine Is going to be an electro-legged fuck-bunny from the future whose batteries never run out! No daughter of mine Is gonna blow your Mind
8.
Forgive me father for I have sinned Forgive me father for I have sinned I think I might actually quite like Shannon Noll’s new song Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh I’ve been having impure thoughts I’ve been having impure thoughts My mind is going around and round With Shannon Noll’s new song Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh What will they think of me in Fitzroy No no no No no no My son I’ve listened to many sins My son I’ve listened to many sins But never have I come face to face with Pure evil Ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh Your penance shall be Lou Reed’s Transformer Ten listens And also David Bowie Late 70’s, Berlin years My laptop is back in the rectory I’ve got some bootlegs from Glastonbury I will burn you a new CD A new CD
9.
They used dogs on me They used blindfolds They embarrassed me in the nude They gave shocks to me with electrodes They deprived me of my food They paraded me round the prison Chained up to other men And with every task One question they asked Over and over and over again They said… Aren't you the suicide bomber Who blew up the bus last year I say No” they say “Yes” I say “You're not thinking it through But they went off and thought up some new things to do So they soaked me with cold water And they left me there overnight They put outlandish costumes upon me And took photographs of my plight They accused me of brutal behaviour Whilst they kicked me in the balls And with every task One question they asked Echoing off of the cold prison walls They said… Aren't you the suicide bomber Who blew up the bus last year I said No” they punched me I said “Think logically, And they said “You think logically And I said “What Psychological torture Has cleared things right up for me There's one thing I know When they let me go I will be the man that they want me to be Yes I'll be the suicide bomber I'll blow up a bus one day And so will my son And his son after that And then some poor new guy Will sit where I sat And he will be forced to wear poo for a hat And so on and so fucking forth, Amen
10.
Baby Gonna make you happy tonight Oh sugar Give my love to you Oh baby Gonna make you feel so right Oh sugar Spend some time with you Do the things you want me to Gonna make love Gonna make some sweet sweet love sugar So get ready Oh get ready get ready Ready for loving tonight Baby Before we get down to love Before we get down I just gotta finish this level I gotta high score tonight I just gotta save my game I'll be with you in a minute sweet baby I love how you dance for me But could you move a little to the left baby I can't see the TV Baby I can't wait till we start Ooh It's just that the save points are so far apart In this game baby But I do love you Baby this bit's got multiplayer Maybe you can operate a turret with me baby would you like that? It's good cause Games five you hand eye coordination And spatial intelligence together with map reading skills Oh sugar Turn the lights down low Lower lower Turn the lights down low Just a little bit lower Turn the lights down low It's just that it helps me feel like I'm in a spaceship Then we can make some Sweet sweet love honey Sugar Baby Oo You look so great to me baby Have you brushed your teeth yet Take your time No hurry It's just that I'm not tired Are you tired I'll see you in the bed then You might want to take a book Ooh you so fine baby I can't stop thinking about you...and all the coins I have to collect I just gotta find one secret area Get one more ability point And I'll make sweet love to you baby I think this xbox Is the best present I ever bought for you Baby

about

Live Album featuring geek-sexual "Gonna Make You Happy Tonight" (XBOX song) and Peter Jackson-based diatribe "King Kong"

credits

released December 2, 2006

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