Fegh Maha

by Tripod

Hello 00:25
Lai-lai lai lai lai lai lai lai Lai lai-lai lai Lai lai-lai lai Lai-lai lai lai lai lai lai lai Lai lai-lai lai Lai lai-lai lai There's a girl We see each other every day But I... I'm too shy And I can't even bring myself to say "Hello, how are you today Lovely weather, by the way If I was with you, I'd be happy to pay!" Oh, for dinner, not... oh, fuck She's so cute She's got a little button head And I try to be cool But then I just trip over and nearly spew I just can't find a way to Let her know that I'll be true So I know what I must do I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod That's how I'm gonna win her hand I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod And I'm a thirty-eight-year-old man When I've won the Rock Eisteddfod She won't leave me on the shelf I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod Win the Rock Eisteddfod by myself With no-one else On stage by myself My thematic concept Will be a post-apocalyptic nightmare Made of cardboard boxes And foil taped to my stack hat She'll be impressed And my costume will be the best When the curtain rises, I'll be dressed In fluoro bike shorts and fur vest I can see it now We'll be the toast of Highpoint She'll fall in love With my mix of funky dance moves And school spirit And she'll finally let me near it I'm a master of my art That's the way I'll win her heart For my school I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod That's how I'm gonna win her hand I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod And I'm a thirty-eight-year-old man When I've won the Rock Eisteddfod She won't leave me on the shelf I'm gonna win the Rock Eisteddfod Win the Rock Eisteddfod by myself And as for music, I'll only choose it If it's got a serious environmental message I'll start with "Hungry Like The Wolf" And then, "It's Raining Men" I hope it works I hope she falls in love with me My backup plan Is to leave these rookie amateurs behind And I'll really blow her mind And I'll build my Jazz Ballet rep I'll go the logical next step I'm gonna win the Eurovision Be a star and make her see Singing in a foreign language Maybe then she'll understand me When I've won the Eurovision She won't leave me on the shelf I'm gonna win the Eurovision Then I finally won't be by myself In rowboats by myself On see-saws by myself Eating two ice-creams by myself
Krap Karate 03:54
Krap Karate Krap Karate Krap Karate Krap Karate It's not Comin' to get ya I'm trained in a special skill To not look like I could kill There's a poster on my bedroom wall Of Steven Seagal Krap Karate I haven't studied, I never fight I watch Buffy every night If you pick on me, there won't be a threat You'll only get Krap Karate My hands are lethal weapons Provided I'm holding a gun I'm registered with the Government As a taxpayer Such Krap Karate Jackie Chan's got everything on me Don't move over, Bruce Lee. I could go at any moment I'm a great exponent of Krap Karate Yee! Ho! Shing! Yon: (spoken) Hi, I'm Yon. An expert with a knife. A surgeon, a craftsman, A master of the deadly blades. Silent death. Yee! Ho! Shing! Gatesy: (spoken) Hi, I'm Gatesy... Yon: (spoken) - so silent, you don't hear a thing. It's just... whoosh-- uuuurgh. Well, actually, it would be more like... (pause)... uuuurgh. And at close quarters, I can use my knife silencer. Gatesy: Hi, I'm Gatesy. Demolitions expert. Master of C4, A4, and foolscap. And if we get into trouble, I can call for reinforcements - those circular adhesive labels. I can pick off any moving target, until they are... stationery! Really loud death! Yee! Ho! Shing! Scod: (spoken) Hi, I'm Scod, seamstress. Gatesy: Hey! He makes the costumes. Scod: I told you they'd laugh. Yon: It's a very important role! All three of us, highly trained in the art of Krap Karate Late in the evenin' I'm havin' drinks with my girl (Caf Latte...) I'm her protector the great defender of her world (After the party...) She grabs my chest my pecs are burning with desire And the hairs on my legs (Spoken) -This call is being charged at $8.90 an hour Jackie Chan's got everything on me, Don't move over, Bruce Lee Don't come any closer Unless you want a dose of... Krap Karate Looks great in a mirror
It's Okay 04:36
It's not as easy as it looks to do what we do To be a hero and a role model to every young Australian. To have the hopes and dreams of millions on our shoulders To be the shining paragon of Western cultural achievement I know it's hard to believe It's actually us in the flesh and blood But don't be overwhelmed, 'cause... It's okay You don't have to be scared Come right up and touch us It's okay Please don't actually touch us That was just an example To demonstrate that we're human too Gatesy: (spoken) Ladies and Gentlemen, tonight, here, we're going to be asking you the big questions: Who are you? What are you acapable of? What is your PIN number. Scod: Important questions, people. The answers to which will go with you through life. Like the big one: Is it possible in life really, on every level, to truly succeed? Well look at us. It's okay Ooh, don't you know it's okay You don't have to be... You don't have to be scared. Gatesy: (spoken) You might be looking at us thinking: "What have they got that I haven't got? What's put them where they are to day? Was it luck? Scod and Yon: No. Gatesy: Was it self-belief? Scod and Yon: No. Gatesy: Was it talent? Scod and Yon: Fuck no! Gatesy: No, it was a rich aunt who pumped money into the act, week after week and asked for nothing in return. Yon: Nothing in return well I had to go to her house every Friday and smear Vegemite all over her... Gatesy and Scod: -La La La! Yon: Toast. Then I had sex with her. You all wanted it. So as you leave this show tonight, think of your aura. Will you buy a t-shirt? Or a - CD? Or a- video? Or a - poster? (Or a...) Cherish your dreams And like a flower, they will blossom But don't tell anyone your dreams 'cause they sort of tend to trail off and be boring. Scod: (spoken) Ladies and gentlemen, all the way from the place where impersonations... near enough is good enough... Shaggy! (It's okay.) When I was a child I dreamed of doing this Well, not exactly this But something similar (It's okay.) I'd try the Jazz Ballet And calisthenics And watch the videos Of Annie Lennox And so you ask me now Why am I saying this? I cannot tell you though It is a secret. (Yon trails off with largely unintelligible Shaggy voice) Come right up and touch us It's okay Stay there, we'll bring it over Close your eyes and put your hand out To demonstrate that we're human like you and me We're human like me
Oooo... (Bup-ba-dup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup...) Oo-oo-oooo... (Bup-ba-dup-bup-bup-bup-bup.) Ugly men with beautiful women You see it All the time in the world today Why is it Ugly men are so attractive? Women must look Deep inside. They know we're All ugly inside 'Cause we're all guts and stuff And bile ducts And pancreatic juice Yeah! Oooo... (Bup-ba-dup-bup-bup-bup-bup-bup...) Oo-oo-oooo... (Bup-ba-dup-bup-bup-bup-bup.) Ugly men with beautiful women Women can See right past the ugly men's looks Isn't it Good to know women are morally superior Wouldn't it be Good if men were morally superior as well Men and women are different In many varied ways Women wear dresses Men wear dresses We all wear dresses And that's where babies come from Gatesy: (spoken) Sorry to be Mr Stoppity the Song Stoppity. Scod: Why did you stoppity the song? Gatesy: Just stoppity the song cos...that's not where babies come from. Scod: Ooh, look at me, I'm the one in the stripes. I know where babies come from. Gatesy: I do! Scod: Oo, I do! Gatesy: Y'know, everyone know where babies come from. When mummy and daddy love each other, very much. Audience member: It's a miracle. Gatesy: It's a miracle if they love each other. Yon: We don't do that kind of comedy. Gatesy: When they love each other very much, Daddy organises a special harness and fits it to the celiing. Mummy wears a pig mask, Daddy wears scuba gear. They put their favourite H.R. Puff 'n Stuff record on and it's on for young and old! Or young and/or old depending on the local laws. That's where babies come from. Ugly men with beautiful women Beautiful men with ugly women Yeah Beautiful men with beautiful women Beautiful women with beautiful girls Yeah Gorgeous girls with beautiful ladies Hot young chicks who can't get enough I don't approve of Internet porn It's so wrong, it's reprehensible And it wastes your whole day It wastes your whole day
The hot dog man is packing up He's putting all his sauces away Scrapes the onion grease into a cup To use again another day Other hot dog men might re-use their cheese But never this hot dog man He whistles a tune and bobs his head While sweeping out the floor of his van The hot dog man once tried a line In gelati and soft-serve treats But they didn't last long in the bain-marie In amongst the steaming meats The sauce bottle nozzles clog up every day He always is surprised by how much A friend once suggested the sachets But he prefers the personal touch The hot dog man The hot dog man Gatesy: (spoken) How beautiful is the hot dog man? Don't you love him? He just knows what life's about. It's the simple things, that's the lesson. The hot dog man attends the normal events Such as concerts and football games Has his regulars at the stadium He takes the time to learn all their names Whilst he knows it's a professional relationship He always asks about their lives Says, "How are the kids? Is your Mum still well? Hey, tell me when the baby arrives." The hot dog man maintains his van He works on it meticulously He'd have it done by a mechanic But who would take as much care as he The hot dog man drops his daughter off At ballet practice three times a week He jokingly asks, "Am I a taxi?" She laughs and smiles and kisses his cheek The hot dog man Gatesy: (spoken) You gotta love the hot dog man, don't ya? Oh, he's just beautiful, I love him. The hot dog man Gatesy: (spoken) I could sing about him all night. In fact, let's do that, yeah! The hot dog man earns a modest amount His overheads are more than you'd think When you add up the cost of his "hobby" Plus the wholesale price of the drinks Gatesy: (spoken) What's with "hobby", Yon? The hot dog man has certain needs Not all of which his wife can fulfill He also has his favourite TV shows The one he likes the most is "The Bill" Gatesy: (spoken) They're not the lyrics, can we... The hot dog man knows his hardware Has certain brands he tends to prefer He's been fitting out his cellar But he's not at all a wine connoisseur The hot dog man drives his hot dog van In circuits 'round the local reserve He drives slowly, but not too slowly And casual, so as not to unnerve Gatesy: (spoken) I don't like the hot dog man any more! The hot dog man Gatesy: (spoken) The hot dog man's a bad hot dog man, isn't he, guys? Guys? The hot dog man Gatesy: (spoken) What the fuck is going on! The hot dog man has a coolroom With independent power supply Has a table on wheels and a light source He performs his operations by Gatesy: (spoken) Operations! The hot dog man's identity Changes every now and again For a time, he was a woman Or at least he wore a woman's skin Gatesy: (spoken) No! If you listen hard in the dead of night Is that a scratching sound you can hear Gatesy: (spoken) I don't like this! We use the word "evil" so liberally... Gatesy: (spoken) Stop. Stop the fucking song! Stop... the stop it. Scod: Whatthe Gatesy: What are you doing to the hot dog... Scod: What? Gatesy: What have you done to him? Scod: What do you mean, "done to him"? Gatesy: You've... Scod: There's a whole range of factors, it wasn't just us. Gatesy: No! Yon: Yeah! Gatesy: No! Yon: I mean, you know, it's a whole "nature versus nurture" issue, really. Scod: It is! Gatesy: It's just... no! Scod: He might have parental problems, who knows? Maybe he's just evil. We just don't know. Gatesy: He doesn't! He doesn't have to be evil, though! Scod: What are you talking about? Gatesy: No, he doesn't. Why can't... here's an idea... ooh, Gatesy! Why don't we... why don't we make the hot dog man a nice hot dog man again, eh? Yon: All right. Gatesy: You know, remember? Aha! Remember... The hot dog man is packing up He's... twisting all the ties on the bun bags Umm... puts the ice bucket back in the freezer ... where he also keeps the human head Gatesy: (spoken) No! Yon: I like that! Gatesy: Oh... Scod: Come on... he's a multi-dimensional character, that's all. Yon: Come on, Gatesy - don't you think we're all the hot dog man deep down inside?a Gatesy: Noooo... Scod: It's about the complexity of human relationships... and knives.
Kempt 04:33
My life was completely astrous when I met you (Not "disastrous") So gruntled with this life I thought I had (Opposite of "disgruntled") How could a love so perfect be so vincible? (Not "invincible") I could have sworn that you were scrutable My judgement was so bad ("Bad", opposite of "unbad") But you were kempt So kempt Everything about you was seemly You were kempt So kempt Of course I'd be bedevilled So gusting and so shevelled Were you It started out so wholesome, so pure (Tell 'em about it...) We engaged in speakable acts (Nothing too saucy...) Although we had hibitions, we were totally toward (You should have seen it coming) But I'd always had a tendency to underreact Our love is defunct When it once was funct You debunked all the myths You had previously bunked When you were kempt, so kempt Everything about you was seemly You were kempt, so kempt (Of course he'd be bedevilled) So gusting and so shevelled Were you You always seemed so honest and so sidious. (You were an angel.) I checked your phone bill, it was full of crepancies (Everything was in order! ) But I found out one evening, you'd been creet (Aha! ) When you and your ex booked a motel, cognito Your ex Your ex It was a personal attack You were going out with prefixes Behind my back Gatesy: (spoken) Look what's happened to the little fella now! His heart's completely roken. Though he does hang out with some serious lappers. You know the kind of lutty types. Scod: This song's not actally about just taking the first letter off words. Gatesy: What? I mean, hat? Scod: Gatesy this song's about...it's about prefixes alright? Like 'in' or 'ex' or if you find and 'un' in a word and you take that out. Audience member: Gunt (?) Gatesy: As in, you're not very... fny. Scod: Oh yeah. I think a better example is, you're a ct Gatesy: Hey! Scod: Let's have another crack at it shall we? He asked you questions, no more terrogation He acted, and he dumped you straight away You're free, enjoy your newfound carceration You're the ex I'd always pected I'll never member you again You always derstood me anyway You sent a liminal message By cheating with your ex But I just think you had A feriority complex But anyway, I've found someone else And she is kempt, so kempt Everything about her is seemly She is kempt, so fucking kempt Her Christian name is Ingrid She lets me call her Grid And she takes off her derpants for me!
It seems like only yesterday When my father sat me down, and said: "Have a good gig at the Prince Pat tomorrow night." It was actually this morning And he got the dates confused (My Dad... he's a fuckwit! ) I remember another time When my father sat me down and said: "The people in the row behind can't see." I said, "Dad, we're on a bus, And there's nothing much to see." And he said, "The landscape, son. The landscape." When I reached a certain age As all the young boys do My body started changing I grew another head I had an operation And I had that head removed Which was fortunate 'cause at the time there was a shortage of head donors My Dad took really good care of me Sat by my side every day When I started to recover Dad told me I was old enough To hear some of the things he had to say Hey hey hey My Dad said "Son, you've turned out nice You're old enough to hear my advice You're a man now And so I want to tell you what I know "Son, keep your receipts Keep your receipts If money is a cash cow, then planning is the meat, So son, keep your receipts Keep your receipts "Son, keep your receipts Keep your receipts. If life's a bog in Ireland, then wisdom is the peat So son, keep your receipts Keep your receipts."
Fabian 05:36
You know, Dasher and Dancer and Prancer and Vixen Comet and Cupid and Chopper and Nixon But do you recall The least famous reindeer of all? Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you This is the tale of a reindeer that nobody knows Shoved down the back and largely ignored on account of a nasal disfigurement Not unlike Rudolph in that sense The hallmarks are almost the same Instead of a red shiny nose that brought Rudolph his fame Fabian had just a cavity No nose at all Just a big empty space In the middle of his face Just a couple of chambers [Fabian: What are you looking at? D'ya want a piece of this?] Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you Abnormal snouts were surprisingly common in reindeer Rudolph and Fabian both fell victim To the elves and their cost-cutting measures In keeping their overheads down The elves fed the reindeer on reindeer. And on top of that, the poor reindeer were also inbred So Fabian had just... a cavity Tripod: His hooter was lacking Bugger all schnozz! All this because His dad was also his sister Who he then ate. [Fabian: This chicken tastes funny. Can I have some of yours?] Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian, this song's for you Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian, tragic but true Disliked by his peers This disfigured deer was alone He watched from afar As Rudolph the star Would lead all the others back home But before you get too sympathetic There's another thing you should know Sure, his nose was upsetting But reindeer are not quite that shallow 'Cause Fabian was... a tosser [Fabian What! ] Not nice at all! [Fabian: Argh, who ran out my batteries?] An arrogant fool [Fabian: I look good in this, don't I?] A self-serving tool [Fabian: I write my name on my stuff for a reason! ] An absolute face-hole Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian, no one likes you Fabian, Fabian, Fabian, Fabian Fabian, Fabian surgery won't fix the vortex That is your black heart
Oh-oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-ohhhh Roh! Roh! Hee! Roh! Roh! YAHH! Roh! Roh! Hee! Let me tell a story that was told one time to me, By people who had had it told to them. Tripod: By their fore-fathers... And their four mothers. t was a little eight person travelling troupe of story-telling parents But that's not the focus of the tale. What's important is the story of a stranger Who came riding on his horse... On a dusty trail. He's embellishing by saying that it was a dusty trail But I think it's pretty safe to assume That the road-building methods of the time Would have been quite crude To say the least. Yon: Actually, strictly speaking, to say the least would have been to do this... Yeh. But you get the idea. No one knew where he came from No one knew who he was But presumably his parents and a few childhood chums Knew him. Roh! Roh! Hee! Roh! Roh! Gatesy: YAAH... I won't fucking do it! Yon: No more! Gatesy: It's just a little act of mine! He rode a horse, a great black steed And Spirit was his name The horse's name, not the bloke The finest gambler in the county He broke all the ladies' hearts I'm still talking about the horse. The man rode round performing acts that may have broke the law Or angered someone in some other way So subsequently he was inevitably caught up with By some state- or county-appointed figure of authority Or local strong man Gatesy: Roooooar! Scod: (To Gatesy) Or fuckhead. Gatesy: (To Scod) Unnecessary. One fateful day Or night Brought before a judge or jury He may have been put to death Or he may have escaped In some exciting way Or boring way Like a legal loophole There he goes Riding into the sun He dissolves into a vapour as he nears the burning orb Or maybe it's just a metaphor. (They argue about the possibilities of this for a while, then conclude...) Yes, definitely a metaphor! (Gatesy rides his horse while they sing...) Tripod: Oo-oh-oh, Oh-oh-oh-ahhhh... (Yon makes various animal and bird sounds in the background) YAH!
Jamming 01:33
Let's take a walk, my love Down by the river, my baby Down where we used to go Until the day when we found that body Please don't forget, my love It was our favourite spot once Please don't let one bloated corpse ruin all our memories I know you slipped down a muddy embankment And landed on a rotting body Please don't let that spoil that place for you Cause don't forget we kissed there too (Come on, baby, get over it.Our love so much better than that dead body. I'd hate to think our relationship hung by a thread of whether we saw a body or not. Hey, I kept a momento. It's the stick we poked it with. Oh come on baby!) All the memories were fantastic Except for one guy wrapped in plastic Down where we used to go until the day when we found that body
Stuntman 02:05
Being on television Is a dream come true I love to be the centre of attention Wouldn't you? I got to be a superhero I got to be a singer in a band But it's not quite perfect Living in TV land 'Cause my stuntman Is a woman Out of the entire Stunt community A woman was the one who had the closest Body shape to me When all the action starts I just sit and stew 'Cause they get a girl to do the things That I'm too wussy to do 'Cause my stuntman Is a woman Did I mention that my Stuntman Is a woman The stunts they get her to do Aren't even that stunty If he needs a stuntman to stand on a box It's a bit affronty There was this one scene Where I get hit by a truck But they didn't even use her They used a dummy Of a woman This situation Was not part of my plans She soaks up all the glory While I'm sitting alone in the van 'Cause it takes a woman To make me look like a man
Target 00:50
Does anyone here find those Target ads arousing When the target logo Turns into some boobs
On behalf of all the geeks I'd just like to say I've been telling you all along That 'Lord of the Rings' was cool I told you so many times (He told you!) I told you so many ways! (Yes, he told you!) I wore a cloak to school Well, who's laughing now? (Ha ha ha ha ha) Now you'll all do as I did You'll name your first child 'Bilbo' But don't try and catch up now It's too late to make amends You were far to busy with girls and cars and sports And friends
Trees 02:06
The trees are dying I'd hate to be a tree in this new century The trees are crying I'd hate to have whats down to a tree done to me 'Cause they cut them down, and turn them into wood They r*pe entire forests for the corporate good A million awful things are done trees But worst of all Trees get chained to hippies Trees get chained to hippies (Free the trees!) I'd rather have a squirell store his nuts in me Help! I'm chained up to a hippie (Free the trees) Smokin' dope right near me (Free the trees) Not offering me any (Free the trees) Playin' Bongo's badly
Ghost Ship 07:36
See the lonely township, Peacefully sleeping, The sun hides once again behind the sea, Most are simply dreaming, Of angel kisses (kissing noises) Butterflys (screetching noise) But sinners can't escape so easily The murderers, the thieves and the fruadulant The overweight, the working class, the foreigners They all must beware, for whats that looming there? An evil spectre on the sea Wow ghost ship Ghost Ship Ghost ship, coming to get them Ghost Ship, sinners beware Ghost Ship, ain't no escaping The ghost ship coming there (high pitched toot-toot) Scod: What was that? Yon: It was the ghost ship (does toot-toot noise again) Scod: No man its got to be really scary. (Yon does a deeper toot-toot) Scod: No really disturbing. Yon: Oh... milky discharge Scod and Gatesy: Ewww... yeah thats better Its masts are made of piled up skulls its deck is made of human nuts its sails are made of sailor skins its guts are made of... well guts Its a feat of engineering I wonder who built it I wonder who built it too Gatesy: Out in the night Under the ocean stars I was standing with my baby on the boardwalk And the ghost ship was there I took her to the pictures Then I took her home, Then I took her to heaven If you know what i mean Scod: Umm... I don't want to stop it or anything but I am going to go with some of the chuckles from the audience out there and suggest that a few of these punters have spotted the same inconscitencies in this song as I have. Um, when did this song become about some woman? Gatesy: Well I kinda figured that the guys love all the evil ghost ship, scary demonic muah boogyman kinda stuff. But as soon as you start to talk about love, now you've got the ladies listening. Because the ladies want to imagine that they are making love to the singer. Scod: What? Gatesy: Nah I read it in Rolling Stone go with me on this... 1 and 2 and 3,4 Ghost Ship Gatesy: My baby kisses like a ghost ship I touch my baby on her ghost ship My trousers are bursting Scod: Alright, alright, just a minute here. I touch my baby on her ghost ship? Where exactly is a woman's ghost ship? Gatesy: Don't you know? Yon: I don't think he knows! Anyway, anyway I cant believe I am saying this but i think that he is onto something. But you may be coming in a little too fast, now if you want to do this love thing you have got to create a bit of a mood. You have to get inside the head of a female girl, tell them what they want to hear. Can I give you an example? Ghost Ship Expressing my feelings Ghost Ship Being a good listener Ghost Ship A thoughtful companion Scod: I dont even know what this song is about anymore. Gatesy: It's like foreplay Yon: Yeah Scod: No! Its not about foreplay, its about a horrible spectral ship that comes and gets sinners. Gatesy: What are they wearing? Scod: No! There is no focus, if there is a woman on it then its because she is a sinner. Do you get it? Right? The woman is a sinner, she is going to be dragged away Gatesy: But not before I bone her on the boardwalk Till the morning comes Yon: I bought a sentimental card With flowers and a pink design Scod: She'll be torn apart by demons Gatesy: While she is touching my buns Ghost Ship Yon: A thoughtful companion Ghost ship Scod: Den of the damned Ghost Ship Gatesy: Overtly Sexual Scod: Murderous Yon: Empathy Gatesy: Nude Scod: Banshees Yon: Thoughtful Gatesy: ASS Ghost Ship
Someday the Lord's gonna take me away from here He'll take away all my misery and fear And He'll take me up to see a better place And the times we'll have will be completely ace And He'll say, "Go to sleep, my son," Yes, He'll be like a Dad to me But a Dad with magic powers 'Cause He's the Lord Someday, the Lord's gonna meet me at a party And He won't say, "You don't remember my name, do you?" He won't embarrass me or put me to shame He'll just be graceful and repeat His fucking name And I will say to Him, "It's nothing personal," And He will understand 'Cause He's the Lord Someday, the Lord's gonna like the movie Tron And He won't laugh at me because I like it too And He'll go with me to Tron marathons And we'll dress up like Tron and buy Tron merchandise And we'll hunt autographs together And He'll let me stand next to Tron And He'll take the photograph 'Cause He's the Lord For the Lord is a powerful man He can get you what you need He can have you resurrected He can get you some shit hot weed Someday, the Lord's gonna find me a lovin' girl He'll set us up with a mansion and a trust fund And we won't have to do anything all day We won't have to work, or even have to play We'll be completely free of cares We'll be suspended in a tank And He will feed us through a tube 'Cause He's the Lord I don't ask much from the Lord But I ask to be fed through a tube
I always get into stuff Just as it's finishing being cool I'm never quite brave enough To take a chance on something new That's for someone else to do Woo ooh ooh I'm never too far behind I follow the trends But I never take any risks I'm not ahead of the pack I'm just with the pack Towards the back I know all about moshing You do it in pits I'm really quite the Pearl Jam fan I just bought their Greatest Hits I'm thinking of getting a nose ring Now that I've seen one on Neighbours Wo-o-oah I always get into stuff Just as it's finishing being cool I've got a Razor scooter out the back Which I bought in 2002 Woo oo oo Woo oo oo oo Taking a chance That's just not for me If there's four levels of cool Then I'm at Level 3 It goes freakishly cool people first Cool people next Then there's me And then my mum I never try to set the trend Coz I've been hurt before The only time I went out on a limb It didn't work out for the best A bandana round my chest Over a vest I always get into stuff Just as it's finishing being cool Taking such big fashion risks That's for rockstars to do You can afford to wear whatever you like When you get that much poontang Do you like that word - poontang? I think it's pretty cool - what do you think? Me neither
My best friend's comin And my girlfriend's back My best friend's comin And my girlfriend's back My best friend's comin And my girlfriend's back My best friend's comin' On my girlfriend's back
Maryanne 08:20
Yon: Her name was mary anne She made him feel like a man Im not saying that he felt like a man He didn't want a man. He liked them as friends. But he didn't "feel like" a man in the same way you feel like having an icy pole. Its alright, i know what to do, if u could just start from the top. Her name was nicole She made him feel like a hole Scod: Feel like a hole? Yon: It has to rhyme with nicole Scod: Just use her actual name. We'll find a rhyme for it. Gatesy: What's her actual name? Yon: Magina. Hit it!" Gatesy: I've got one for Maryanne. Her name was Maryanne She made him feel like a man But she didn't even know he existed But oh whenever she walked past His heart would stop.. Scod: So he was dead before they even got started Coz his heart had stopped when he caught sight of her It was death at first sight They never made it one night Gatesy: He didn't fucking die! alright? He didn't die. Scod: You said his heart had stopped, what is he? The undead? Gatesy: No no no no Scod: i don't know what else im sposed to do. Gatesy: No...he's not un....undead Scod: Is he doomed to walk the earth and be in a shit song? Gatesy: That's MY fucking life, now you play Her name was mary anne She had the body of a godess And the face of an angel Every mans desire She set his world on fire.. Scod: So they were all dead before they even got starte Because the world caught fire in an incentuary disaster Join in if you know the words Gatesy: Shut...the...fuck...up Scod! Shut...the...fuck...up Shut...the...fuck..up Shut the fuck up!!" Scod: You said the world had caught fire! Gatesy: It's a metaphor! Scod: I reckon my mum could beat your mum in a fight.You know that? Gatesy: My dad could beat your mum in a fight. Scod: You suck and so does your mum. Gatesy: Hey, hey, hey, hey. hey. say what you like about my mum, leave me out of it. Yon: I reckon i can fix this song up, by the way. Maryanne? Just play, and i'll sing and it'll be good. Her name was maryanne She was searching for a man Her silhouette was unmistakable She stood out in a crowd She had a shapely head And a long flowing nose She was hideous A walking disaster A craggy crone A picture of disgust She caught his eye Scod: And returned it promptly He was glad that she could catch it But they couldn't re-attatch it He was blinded for all time So they lived happily Because he couldn't see That she was so ugly Yon: I'm glad it wasn't me And they lived happily
Urine Town 06:06
Just another happy day in Urine Town, There's nothing to damp your mood or get you down In Urine Town. We don't have problems That we can't work out Wee, wee, wee In Urine Town Scod: Excuse me, sir, can you direct me to the theatre? I came all the way from Pissburgh, and I'm going to make it big! I'm going to write my name on every wall in town! Gatesy: You might as well go home, son You might as well go home The urine factory's closed And you (mutters incomprehensibly) Scod: What was that last bit, Mister? Gatesy: You might as well go home, son... Scod: Yeah, yeah, sir, I heard that. Gatesy: There used to be a steady stream of gold here Now it's just wet and cold here Since the urine factory closed down Scod: Hey sir, but excuse me, what is wrong with you? Gatesy: I'm really pissed. Scod: Oh, fine. Well, you sound like Yon doing an impression of Tom Waits. Yon: I couldn't help but overhear your conversation. Scod: And who are you, Mister? Yon: I'm the guy who tells you about the town meeting. Scod: Oh! Yon and Gatesy: (Assorted people talking at once) Order! Order! It's all gone to piss here in Urine Town, It's all gone down the drain. Nothing gets passed here in Urine Town. What are we gonna do? Gatesy: I know! We might as well go home... Scod: Oh, shut up, will ya Mister! Order! Gatesy: Order! Order! Scod: The mayor wants to speak. Yon: Everything might stink here in Urine Town But if we all pull together as a team We can kick another goal here in Urine Town We can push through the pack here in Urine Town It's not over 'till the siren goes in Urine Town... Yon: Yes, but what are we going to do? Scod: Oh, excuse me. I have an idea! Gatesy: Don't listen to him, he's from Pissburgh. Scod: But wait, listen. Hear me out. We don't need the urine factory. We can make our own urine! (Sounds of disagreement) That's preposterous! Surely not! Yon: (Female voice) Wait! Wait! I believe in him. Scod: She was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen. Skin as white as porcelain, eyes as blue as the bluest water you can imagine. A handy duck-shaped neck, perfect for all those awkward, hard-to-reach spots. I felt that I'd pissed my life against the wall until this moment. So come on, everyone! Pull down your pants! We can all put in our share! This town's destiny is in our own hands! The future's bright and clear in Urine Town... Scod: So the town shook off the yoke of corporate oppression. Yon and Gatesy: You can hear for miles around the hissing sound Scod: And pissing became something that everyone did. In Urine Town... Scod: And I married that girl. In Urine Town


Fegh Maha is the fifth (and 1st double) album released by Tripod, and their second live album. It was nominated in 2004 for the ARIA category Best Comedy Release.


released May 3, 2004

Fegh (tracks 1-10) was recorded live at the Prince Patrick Hotel, Melbourne, in August 2002.
Maha (tracks 11-21) was recorded live at the Hi-Fi Bar in Melbourne in April 2003 and at the Brisbane Powerhouse in May, 2003.


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Tripod Melbourne, Australia

Tripod are three Australian men who are funny and write good songs.

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